I can do it.

Sundays are the days where I do all my homework that's been saved up till the last minute. Where I pretend I'm sick so I don't have to go to church, or where I sit around and be lazy and think about the week that just passed by like all the others before it. This week though has made me learn so much, I've laughed, I've cried, I've yelled, and I've died a little inside, but I've also found a part of me that I've never met before. This whole post might sound like the cheesiest thing you've ever read so I'm going to warn you before you get to far ahead of yourself. There will be religion in this post, there will be sadness in this post, and hopefully good things will come out of this. So if you aren't willing to read this, then don't, but if you are, go on ahead.

So, let’s start at the beginning of the week, shall we? Monday was pretty much like any other Monday, going to school, talking with friends, telling everyone how (let’s call him Bill) much I’m upset with Bill and that on the Friday before he was flirting. He said a few words and I said a few back to defend myself. Long story short, he found out that I liked (we’ll call this guy Tom) Tom, told a few of my secrets, and we’re not friends any more.

Tom was there to help me along the way, and when Bill said those hurtful things to me and let my secrets out to the world, Tom was there to tell him to back off. He told me that all of the things Bill said weren’t true and that I shouldn’t ever take crap like that from anyone ever again (Okay, I was trying to stop like you kid why the heck did you have to do that? Just make me like you even more haha).

My Aunt was diagnosed with cancer on Wednesday. We knew it would happen to someone else in the family, we just didn’t know who it would be. This didn’t tear me apart though, I felt bad because it makes her life harder and her husbands, but I know that she’s going to get through this. She’s strong and always has been, yes I cried for her, this was just another thing that happened in my life and I couldn’t let it tear me apart, just like the Bill thing. I knew everything would be okay.

My Grandpa passed away this week, don’t feel bad for me though, that’s not what I want to accomplish from this. Now, every time I hear bad news it doesn’t finally set in till I’ve gathered up all these emotions. I just explode in front of whoever is there to gather me up in their arms. I felt that maybe God was punishing me for some reason, but I couldn’t figure out why, what did I do? Was this about Bill? It wasn’t my fault (at least not all of it), why was I the one being blamed. I cried a lot, and after I found out I got a call from Tom. He was in the best mood. He has just won his soccer game, putting his comp team in first place (for the moment ha ha). I didn’t tell him at first what had happened because I didn’t want to ruin his big moment, his happy moment. I told him a little while after and he told me so much, he told me how I can be stronger, how I can get through this, and how coming closer to my Heavenly Father will help me. I liked Tom even more now, I think my Grandpa knew that something in my life needed to be changed. I’ve had issues with religion for the longest time and this one person, this guy, has made me change in just 2 days.

I found that my attitude needed to change in order for anything to work out. I needed to bring my family in, not push them out. I needed to take chances, forgive and forget, and know that there will always be someone here to help me along this crazy highway of life. I’ve also realized that Tom is pretty much perfect and whether I want him to be or not, he’s apart of my life, and I guess trying not to like him isn’t a choice at the moment. I miss my Grandpa, but I know that he’s watching over me as I write this down and I believe that he sent Tom to me when I needed him. I’m proud of my Aunt for doing all she can to beat this cancer, and she’s been such a great example for me. And as for Bill, I think I’ll live without him for now(; haha.